


I'll Be Dead For Christmas

by Pinkhairandroses



Category: Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29000340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkhairandroses/pseuds/Pinkhairandroses
Summary: Eric Northman, alone and miserable in Oklahoma on Christmas Eve, orders Pam to do the unthinkable. Will the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come make him see the error of his ways and help him find his happily ever after?
Relationships: Eric Northman/Sookie Stackhouse
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

It was Christmas Eve in Tulsa, and unseasonably cold. The sky was overcast and the drifting snow swirled in the glare of the overhead street lights. Eric Northman was in a foul mood. It wasn’t the cold - as a vampire, the cold bothered him little, and over 1000 years ago, as a child, he had played in the North Sea on days not much warmer than this. It was the insufferable holiday. Any other time, Eric would have said that he didn’t give two shits about Christmas. He wasn’t a Christian, and had never been one. He would have admitted to tolerating spoiling his child Pam with Christmas gifts over their years together. His other progeny, Karin, didn’t celebrate the holiday, and had no use for spoiling.

There was another whom he considered his, and she celebrated Christmas, but he had never spent it with her. This was only the third Christmas since they had met. They had nearly been intimate shortly before their first Christmas, and had been truly together shortly after, but that hadn’t lasted because of his memory loss. Last Christmas, they were bonded, but he had… withdrawn… after those memories had returned in October. And this year? She was in Louisiana with the Shifter, while he was in Oklahoma with Freyda, The Cunt, who was undoubtedly irate that her “Royal Consort” had fled the Holiday Ball after only three and a half fucking hours.

His life was miserable. He hated Freyda. He hated Oklahoma. He missed Pam. He even missed the bar.

He missed her.

For at least the thousandth time in the past few months, he thought that he should have done as he had threatened. Surely she would have forgiven him after his 100 years away, and would have been ready to cleave to his side when he was free. He would have something to look forward to. Pam would have been a good Mistress to her. She would have kept her safe. And… unattached.

And if one hundred years wasn’t enough, well then, how about two?

It may have been well past midnight on Christmas morning, but, thankfully, 7-Eleven never closes, and there were many spread across the state. Eric turned up the collar on his leather coat and ducked in. He tried to never buy burners at the same place. He grabbed a cheap flip phone and a prepaid sim from the display and paid for his purchase, glamouring the teen behind the counter to forget that he had been there.

Outside, Eric took to the sky and flew to the Keystone Ancient Forest. He landed in a depression, nearly surrounded by rocks, sheltered from the wind. He inserted the sim into the phone and dialed the cell phone Pam had just for his calls. The one she called her Batphone.

“Merry Christmas, Eric! I am so glad that you were able to call!” She sounded downright giddy. It made him sick.

“Pamela. I have something I need for you to do.”

Pam sighed. She could tell already that this was going to be… unpleasant. Both the call and the task. She had hoped that Eric would have been able to settle into life in Oklahoma, but it looked like he was eager to make the next 200 years drag by as slowly and painfully as possible.

Adapt or die. He had drilled that into her from the moment she had arisen Vampire. It was the basic tenant of their existence, the crux of every lesson. And yet, somehow, since Sookie Stackhouse had waltzed into Fangtasia on the arm of that insufferable Bill Compton, Eric had become unsettled. Unable to adapt. Unable to move forward.

And yet, she didn’t really think that her Master would have changed a thing.

Well, maybe a few things. Like the past year. Maybe the past year and a half.

Pam was angry with the telepath, but she was also angry with her Master. Both of them had behaved like idiots, and neither of them would listen to a word she said. And what did they get for their foolishness? Misery! Both of them, pining away for each other. Eric had run so hot and cold with her, hiding things and disappearing for weeks, keeping vital information from her. He knew how shrewd Sookie could be. How she could think outside the box. She came up with the plan to deal with Victor. Maybe, had she known sooner, had truly understood, she could have helped with Oklahoma. Maybe, if they’d talked to each other, instead of at each other, they could have at least come to some kind of understanding.

And Sookie was fight and flight, all rolled into one. Fear without self-preservation. Who else would taunt an angry Vampire for fun and spite, only to run away when he got too friendly?

“Yes, Eric, I am having a lovely festive season. Thank you so much for asking! Did you enjoy the ball? I have a lovely present for you under the tree that I will gladly give you in 199 years. I hope you’ll like them. Tiffany Cufflinks! They will be worth a mint!”

“Pam.”

Pam sighed again. “What is it, Master?”

“You will go to Bon Temps tonight and turn Sookie. You will keep her by your side until I am free. You will command her to save herself for me and be mine.”

“Eric!”

“You will go now. Text me when it is done.”

“Eric! Absolutely not! I can’t do this! Don’t make me! She will hate me forever! You know she doesn’t want this!”

“We are not having this discussion. You will go. You will turn her! Tonight!”

“Eric, I can’t believe this. You promised her. She will never, ever forgive you. I will never forgive you. I won’t do it. I won't!"

"You will."

"Eric, It's Christmas!"

Eric heard Pam hitch in a small breath she didn’t need and held it. He paused, for a moment wondering if he was doing the right thing.

“Pamela, as your Maker, I command you to turn Sookie Stackhouse. Go now. Text me when it is done.”

He heard her sob his name before he ended the call.

He flew back to his Tulsa safehouse, a cold smile on his face. He opened up his bond with Pam and felt the pain there. The grief. The rage. The guilt. The horror. The shame. He relished her misery. It felt good nestled next to his own. He checked his email and watched a little television. As he undressed for bed, he got a text notification.

“It’s done, you bastard.”

And then another.

“Fuck you.”

He smiled wider and settled down to die for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

“Come on, Dear, it’s time to wake up.”

Eric was immediately alive, aware, and across the room, holding the elderly woman up against the wall by her throat. There was something almost familiar in her look and her smell and the way she carried herself, but he knew he had never met this woman before.

“Who are you and how did you get in here?” he snarled.

The woman tittered and spoke clearly, as if there wasn't a very large cold hand crushing her larynx, “Gracious sakes alive, Mr. Northman! I’m The Ghost of Christmas Past! I’m here to show you Christmases from long ago.”

Eric checked his bond with Pam, but he knew there was no way that she could have engineered this. She, after all, had been a very busy vampire shortly before dawn, and he could sense that she was still in her daytime rest.

“Your child didn’t send me. This isn’t a trick, Mr. Northman. Come along. I have some things that I would like to show you.”

“And what if I will not go?”

The old woman tittered again, and they were no longer in the sleeping chamber of Eric’s Tulsa safehouse, but just outside of a modest single story home in what was almost certainly rural Louisiana.

And it was daytime.

Eric hissed and tried to run, but somehow the old woman had grabbed the wrist of the hand around her throat and easily held him still. The sunlight didn’t burn his skin, or hurt his eyes.

“What is this magic, Woman?”

“Oh hush. I want you to look through that window, Mr. Northman, and tell me what you see.”

Eric looked. It was a living room, furnished with a mishmash of shabby mid-century pieces. Shabby, but not 5-decades-old shabby. There was a young loblolly pine standing in the corner. It had obviously been cut from the woods surrounding the property, and was covered in silver icicles and a scattering of ornaments, mostly homemade. There were a few presents underneath, as well as two very small and very blond human children. The older child, the boy, was ripping into his gifts with abandon, his huge smile displaying the gap where his front teeth should have been. The girl sat beside him with her arms wrapped around her knees and her face tucked under so all he could see was the top of her head covered in long, fine hair that was so blonde that it was almost white.Baby hair. Comparing her to his own children long ago, he guessed that she was maybe 3 years old.

A young man sat on a recliner in a white undershirt and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. He too was blond and was very handsome, but there was a long held sense of caution and weariness to his eyes that made him look harder and older than his years. A harsh woman sat on the couch in a housecoat, clutching a cup of coffee. Her eyes were hard and her jaw was clenched, her mouth held in a lipless straight line as she looked at her daughter. Then, she looked at her son and her mouth and eyes softened, and Eric saw that she was actually quite beautiful.

The man kneeled next to the little girl, “Honey? You wanna open your presents now, Angel?” He reached to smooth her hair, but she shied away from his touch. Without ever looking up to see him. The man’s shoulders slumped and he looked utterly defeated.

The old woman next to Eric spoke, “The poor little dear. She knows what every present is without opening one. She knows how hard her Daddy had to work to buy them. She knows that he spent the money on presents instead of the electric bill and that her parents are worried about it getting shut off again. She knows Santa isn’t real, and she was switched last night for telling her brother, even though she didn’t know it was wrong. She knows her daddy loves her and her mother doesn’t, and that they are both terrified of her.”

The little girl looked up then. Her haunted blue eyes seemed to meet his through the window.

“Sookie…” His whisper was almost reverent.

“She can’t see us. None of them can. Come.”

The old woman grabbed his hand and they were in front of Sookie’s home on Hummingbird Lane. The house had obviously been recently painted and was in better repair than the last time Eric had been there. They walked around to the back and looked in the window over the kitchen sink. Five adults sat around Sookie’s kitchen table, while 3 children sat at a card table in the corner. The mood seemed less than festive. Eric easily recognized the man and the woman from the other house, obviously Sookie’s parents. There was also a pretty blonde woman in her early thirties, an older gentleman, and…

Eric’s head swung to the elderly woman holding his hand. The fifth adult was obviously her - a little plumper, her hair less grey, her skin smoother.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Northman. Adele Hale Stackhouse, at your service.”

She actually curtsied.

“That handsome devil on my right is my boy, Corbett, and my beautiful daughter, Linda, is on my left. I lost them both way too young, Mr. Northman. The other two are my brother Bartlett, and daughter in law, Michelle. I was taught, Mr. Northman, to not speak ill of the dead, but if they both aren’t warming their hands in hell, then I don’t know why not. The children, of course, are Sookie, Jason, and Hadley.”

Sookie and Jason were older than they had been at the other house, maybe 7 and 10. Hadley and Jason were close in age, and seemed to be thick as thieves, their heads close together as they ate their meal. Sookie, again, looked small and sad, haunted and alone. She pushed her food around on her plate but didn’t eat a bite.

“Gran, may I be excused, please?” Her voice was small and soft, barely above a whisper.

“Of course, Sookie. Run outside and play, now.”

Sookie left the table and went to the back door. She slipped out, passed the washer and dryer on the porch, and went down the stairs to the back dooryard. She was standing just a few feet from Eric and the ghost of her grandmother. She closed her eyes and gave a huge sigh of relief. Eric’s eyes closed, too. This was the first time he’d smelled her in months. His chest ached.

Eric heard Sookie's heartbeat quicken. He looked back through the window as the old man excused himself as well to go outside for a cigarette. Sookie's breath hitched and she took off running towards the cemetery. Eric started to go after her, but again Adele easily held him still.

"She's figured out how to keep him away most times now. It's hard to find someone when they can read your mind and don't want to be found, especially outside. That little girl is the queen of hide and seek. Jason and Hadley haven't let her play with them in years. Bartlett only gets to her now when Michelle has him over to babysit so she can do her running around. Soon Sookie and Jason will live with me full time, and I will make sure he never touches her or Hadley again."

"I thought you were going to be showing me my past."

"You're a vampire, Mr Northman! I was under the impression that your memory is just fine. Unless there's been yet another curse I wasn't told about."

"Why are you showing this to me? Is it supposed to make me ashamed? Sorry? To make me pity her?"

"No, Sir. I'm just showing you pieces of a puzzle. You will just have to wait to figure out what the finished picture will look like. Come. I have one more thing to show you."

They were standing in the same place, but the house looked older, the paint cracked and peeling in places. Eric could hear a vehicle coming, and he sped around to the front yard. A pickup truck drove down the long driveway, bouncing as it hit the deep potholes. There were a few other cars parked here, and Sookie's old yellow hatchback around back. So, this Christmas was recent, but definitely before Jackson. And therefore, before she had met any vampires.

The front door bounced open and Sookie stepped out onto the front porch, waving at her brother, a huge, happy smile on her face. She was breathtaking. She wore a red sweater and jeans, her hair ran loose down her back and only a little lip-gloss for makeup.

Jason pulled to a stop and jumped down from his truck. The aqua swirls were still as ridiculous as ever.

"Merry Christmas, Jason!" She called to him.

"Merry Christmas, Little sis."

Jason bounded up the steps and they hugged. He picked her up and swung her around. She kissed his cheek, laughing.

"Come on in! Supper's ready and everyone else is already here! Need a hand carrying presents?"

Jason looked slightly shame-faced. "Uh… nope. I… uh… forgot?"

Sookie laughed and rolled her eyes. "Of course you did. Come on in anyhow. Gran will have a fit if supper gets cold while we're out here flapping our gums. Let's go eat some turkey, Turkey!" They went inside.

Eric walked back around to the kitchen window to peek inside. There were five adults around the table again, but there was joy here. He recognized everyone - Sookie, Jason, Gran, Tara, and Lafayette. They were laughing and joking, passing serving dishes around the table and piling their plates high. Sookie looked more relaxed and happier than he'd seen her in a very long time. Maybe ever.

"Her life hasn't always been roses, but it hasn't always been a shit sandwich, either, pardon my French. As she grew, she was able to get more control over her telepathy. She made real friends. She found people who loved her as she was."

The table shimmered, and they were back in time again. Seven year old Sookie sat at the kids' table, once again pushing her food around her plate.

"Eight people, Mr. Northman, and twenty years. Two of us were almost old then, but the rest? And now only Sookie and Jason are left. Or is it just Jason now?" She turned and glared at him. "Her life hasn't all been bad. But it has been very hard, and full of loss."

"I am Vampire. I understand hard life and loss. I have lived through both for 1000 years."

Adele sighed. "Yes, Mr. Northman, you have. Your maker made sure of it. I wonder, though, if you would want Sookie to go through the same…"

He lowered his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was back in his safehouse in Tulsa. And he was alone.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He exclaimed into the silence.


	3. Chapter 3

Eric felt the pull of the sun. He fell back into his bed, and was instantly dead to the world.

Within moments, his nose twitched. His fangs dropped suddenly and saliva filled his mouth.

Fairy.

In a flash, he was out of bed again and across the room, another slender neck, held tight in his hand. He leaned forward and took a deep sniff of her hair. 

"Well, if it isn't Tall, Blond and Dead." Claudine Crane tweaked his nose, laughed, and popped to the other end of the room. 

She swept her palm down her body from her head to her toes. A full-coverage hazmat suit replaced the red gown she had been wearing. "There. It isn't much to look at, but it should help with the smell. Come, Vampire. We have much to see and do." Her voice didn’t sound muffled at all, despite the clear plastic face shield.

"Is something the matter with Sookie? Is that why you're here?"

“Well, as a matter of fact, Genius, yes! She’s dead. But you already knew that, didn’t you? 

Eric averted his eyes. “Why are you here?”

“OK. Let’s get the formalities out of the way first. I, of course, am The Ghost of Christmas Present. And actually, Eric, I’m here because there’s something the matter with you! Now let’s get a wiggle on. Places to go, people to see, yadda yadda yadda…”

Claudine popped back across the room, grabbed Eric’s hand, and teleported them into Sookie’s living room. Sookie sat on the couch fidgeting with the red cell phone Eric had sent her after the takeover. Her sadness was palpable.

She was so beautiful. He guessed that she’d recently gotten home from the evenings Christmas Eve service at her church. Her hair hung long and loose down her back, and she wore a pretty red silk blouse and dressy black slacks. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose. Then his eyes popped back open, and he whispered, “She’s still alive…”

Claudine replied, “Yes, this was just a few hours ago, on the present Christmas Eve. Are you going to split any more hairs, or can we get this show on the road?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Fine”

Sookie flipped the phone open and dialed a number. After four rings, Sookie pulled the phone away from her ear to hang up, but the ringing stopped and a tiny voice said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Ames. I know it's Christmas Eve and all, but do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Of course, Sookie. What's up?"

"Me and Sam broke up today."

Eric stood next to Claudine, completely riveted. He didn’t move, blink, or breathe. He hung on every word.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry! What happened?"

"I tried so hard, Amelia. I wanted it so much. I've always loved him as a friend, but no matter how hard I try, I'm just not in love with him."

"I thought he was OK to keep it casual as long as you needed?"

"Well, I sort of made Christmas as my goal for making it official. I was really optimistic at the time. It was new and a little exciting, and that was nice. And I was just cramming all of that Eric crap down inside me, and I thought I could just get over him…"

Sookie blushed deep red and she looked down. Eric loved it when she blushed, her blood hot and red just under her beautiful skin.

"I bit Sam last night, Amelia. Hard. During sex. It hurt him a lot. He has a huge bruise on his neck and I broke the skin."

"I didn't know Sam was into that sort of thing." Amelia, of all people, sounded embarrassed. 

"Um… He's not. I was imagining… fantasizing, I guess… that I was with Eric. He really liked it when I bit him. We both did. And I just can’t block Sam’s thoughts out when we make love, so I sometimes try, to just go somewhere else. Of course, Sam figured it out right away. I hurt him so much. The bite wasn't nearly as painful as knowing why. He moved back to his trailer this morning."

"Oh, Sookie. I'm so sorry. Poor Sam."

Sookie sniffed and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know. He doesn't deserve that, Amelia. 

“So, I guess you're still in love with Eric?"

Eric leaned forward.

"Of course I'm still in love with him. I'll never not be in love with him. But I completely blew it!"

"Sookie, he gave as good as he got. Hell, a lot of the time, he gave better. Or worse, however you want to look at it. He threatened to torture you. Told you he thought about killing you. Hell, just a couple of months ago, he said that he should have turned you against your will!”

"He would never do that! He promised!"

Claudine snorted and gave Eric a meaningful look. His jaw clenched. Guilt was not a feeling he enjoyed.

"He also asked you to move away from everything you've ever known so he could hide you in an apartment to fuck around on his wife with you, knowing full well how that would have made you feel. You were experts at wounding each other."

"I just can't believe the way I behaved sometimes, though. I look back and think why did I say that? How could I have done such a thing? I was just out of control."

"What if I told you about someone I knew, a stranger you'd never met, who was nearly beaten to death. After that, she was attacked by a vampire. Then her grandmother was murdered by a serial killer who was targeting her, who then attacked her and nearly killed her, too. Then she was attacked and nearly killed by a poisonous mythical creature, lost a good friend to another murder, was beaten and nearly raped by a religious nut, got shot at by more religious nuts, then went to an orgy to find her friend's killer where too much crazy shit went down to even go into."

"I get it, Amelia"

"Then she went to rescue her no good cheating boyfriend, where she got staked saving his ass. For the trouble, she was pushed into a trunk by a deranged psychopath, where said boyfriend raped her and nearly killed her. The boyfriend who tricked her into a relationship so that he could procure her telepathic talents for his queen. And took her virginity. Then she was beaten up by a bunch of werewolves."

"That's enough."

"No, Sookie, that's just the first 8 months or so. We haven't gotten to her falling in love and having her heart broken again, fighting in a witch war, getting shot at by the psycho from the trunk, her brother's kidnapping, getting her house burnt, some more werewolf drama, getting shot, getting attacked by another vampire, her cousin's murder, another kidnapping and a royal assassination ball! Hey! That's the first year!"

"Amelia…" She was almost whining now.

"Forced blood bond, attempted bombing, actual bombing, vampire takeover, a werewolf war, a few more attempts on her life, tricked into a marriage, a couple more kidnappings , tricked into a divorce, framed for murder, a very prolonged and significant torture, and a partridge in a pear tree. Shall I go on? I know I'm missing a few. Anyhow, all of these things happened to this girl in a little more than two years. Would you expect her to not make any mistakes? To not have trouble with commitment and trust? To not run, or attack when cornered? To not lose her shit now and again? Your trauma is significant, Sookie."

Eric hadn’t really realized how much Sookie had endured in such a short period of time. He knew that the past few years had been a little crazy, but laid bare like this… It was a lot. And Sookie was little more than human. 

"Amelia, this isn't just a little bit of commitment and anger issues. And it wasn't just all stuff done to me. There were things that I did. Bad things. I killed people. Humans, and weres, and fairies, and vampires. I did terrible things. I made so many mistakes. I hurt so many people."

"Honey, we all make mistakes, and I know you made a bunch. I'm not saying that you share none of the blame, and I'm not just making excuses for you. I'm also not saying that it was all Eric's fault. But sometimes shit happens, and you’ve been through a ton of shit."

"But…"

"Sookie, If Terry Bellefleur lashed out and said something really mean to you, how would you feel? What would you do?"

"Amelia, I'm not Terry Bellefleur. He's a hero, and saw terrible things in the war."

Amelia rolled her eyes. "And how many terrible things have you seen, Sookie? Both first hand and second hand? And don't you dare tell me second hand doesn't count. I've seen your face sometimes, when it's something just too horrible to hold in.

As for whether or not you're a hero, that's bullshit. How many did you save at Rhodes alone? How many others, before and after? You've saved way more lives than you've taken, and you've not taken any that weren't trying to kill you and yours first."

Eric nodded. Sookie had saved him, more than once. Pam, too. And at great risk to herself.

"I don't know. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. Eric is enslaved for two hundred years. I could have stopped it. And what kills me, is that it's the one thing I just can't find it in me to regret."

Eric growled. 

Sookie continued, "Eric was going to be married to Freyda for 100 years. Sam was dead. Eric said that he had to follow through with the contract because it was a matter of honor. I didn't even really know how the Cluviel Dor worked! I hate that this happened, but I couldn't say Sam's life was worth less than Eric's honor. And I think if I had to make the same decision again now, I would."

"Honey, I think that there was more to it than honor."

"Yeah, I know that now. But I didn't know it then. And If I took it back now, Sam would be dead. I just can't regret it, but I can't forgive myself, either."

"I guess I can understand that. But you weren't responsible for Eric being in that position. That was all on Appius and Freyda. And it wasn't your responsibility to save him, no matter how much you wanted to."

Eric’s jaw clenched harder. But he also accepted that as truth, no matter how much he didn’t like it.

"He hurt me so much, Amelia. Why did we have to hurt each other so fucking much?"

"Oh, sweetie. I think that you both love each other a lot, but so many bad things just kept happening to you both. And you both have gone through so much in your lives, which fucked you both up. Plus, you were both really new to relationships. If you could have had some peace and quiet, I really think you could have worked through your troubles and made it. But he's a vampire, honey, and a powerful one. Drama and intrigue are kinda part of the package. "

"I'm sorry to be such a downer on Christmas, Ames. I love you."

"Love you, too, Sook. And I'm always happy to help a friend."

Claudine smiled sadly at Eric. "Nobody knows what's in your heart but you, Eric. But now you know what's in hers, and have a little more perspective."

There was a knock at the door.

“I gotta go, Amelia. Someone’s here. A vampire. Probably Bill, coming to wish me a Merry Christmas.”

“Night, Sookie. I’ll give you a call in a few days to check in. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Ames. Bye.”

Sookie hung up the phone and went to open the front door. Eric, somehow, was surprised to see that it was Pam. He took a quick breath and held it.

Sookie tried to sound chipper. “Pam! I’m so happy to see you! Come in, and Merry Christmas. Can I get you something to drink?”

Pam seemed to flinch at the question.

“Sookie, I am so sorry to bother you on Christmas Eve. I really really am. I have been trying so very hard to come up with what to say on the way over, and I just couldn’t. I even drove under the speed limit the whole way here. I just… I just hope that someday you’ll be able to forgive me.”

Sookie looked confused for a second before her eyes widened, her breath caught, her heart started to pound. She knew. She tried to run, but didn’t manage a step before Pam caught her. Eric stood transfixed. He didn’t move a muscle as he watched.

Pam didn’t want a struggle. She just couldn’t hurt Sookie any more than she had to. She quickly hooked her arm around Sookie’s neck, choking her unconscious and started to drink. Everything was a pink haze through the bloody tears in her eyes.

By the time she opened the vein on her wrist and started feeding Sookie her blood, she was sobbing openly.

When Pam’s wrist had healed for the third time, she carefully picked Sookie up into her arms bridal style and held her close. “I am so very sorry, my friend,” she said, and then she carried her outside and placed Sookie on the back bench seat of her Honda Odyssey. Eric and Claudine followed them out.

Pam took her phone from her pocket and sent off two very angry texts, climbed in the driver’s seat, and tore off up the driveway. There would be no more going under the speed limit tonight. 

Eric couldn’t speak. His fangs were down and he was breathing so hard that his chest and shoulders heaved. He felt terribly conflicted; it was almost like he was feeling every emotion he had ever felt, all at once. 

Claudine placed a gloved hand on his arm, trying to lend him at least a bit of comfort. 

“Come, Eric. I have one more thing to show you.”

Once again, Eric was standing in front of the single-story home where three-year-old Sookie had once lived. Through the window, Jason Stackhouse was pacing back and forth across the living room. He held a cell phone to one ear while he raked his fingers through his hair on the other side. His hair stuck out in every direction. A woman stood off to the side, her hands gripped tightly together, looking very worried. 

“Andy, I know you’re supposed to wait 24 hours, but I know somethin’s wrong! It’s Christmas and she ain’t gonna just disappear. She was s’posed to come here for breakfast and she never showed. It just ain’t like her!”

“Aw, she probably just went off with another one of them vamps.”

“No, Andy, it ain’t like that no more! She left all that stuff behind. I went over to her house and I saw some blood on the floor. It wasn’t much, but it was there. I think somethin’ bad happened, Andy. And she’s all the family I got left!”

"Oh, hell. I'll go take a look. Meet me over at your sister's in 20 minutes." He muttered under his breath about how pissed Halleigh was going to be.

"Ok, Eric. I think I've done enough. Let's get you back home."

Claudine popped him back into his sleeping chamber. She swiped her palm back over her body, changing back into her red gown. She kissed his cheek and popped away. Her goodbye echoed, sounding like it came from very far away. 

Eric alone again in his chamber, could only begin to sort through all the things he had seen and heard. Time however was not his friend, and once again he was out before he could make sense of it all.


	4. Chapter 4

For the third time that day, Eric was wide awake and across the room in less than a moment. This time, however, instead of standing with his hand wrapped around a throat, he was crumpled, prostrate on the floor, his head between a pair of battered hobnail boots. The call was so strong he could barely utter the word that he knew would release him. 

“Master…”

The pressure eased and Eric was able to stand before the sadistic bastard he’d been sure he’d never have to see again. Appius Livius Ocella stood before him, somehow looking down his aqualine nose at his child despite the fact that Eric was taller by nearly a foot. Appius wore a long, dark hooded cloak open over a pair of worn Levis and a black Ramones Tshirt. 

This was the being responsible for his agony. Who had been responsible for so much suffering, hundreds of years’ worth. And still, Eric’s feelings for his Master were so very… complicated. The most predominant ones were hate, fear, rage, and the shame caused by the longing in his chest for his Master’s respect and approval and… love. He hated it. He hated this. He hated himself and everything around him. Would this infernal night of misery ever fucking end? Or would it go on forever, punishing him for eternity?

Honestly, if it did, he felt it was likely better than he deserved.

“Ocella, Why are you here?”

His Maker scowled, but didn’t answer.

“Am I to assume that you are the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?”

The Roman nodded.

“And you have come to show me more misery? To make me see what other terrible things my actions and yours have caused? To give me more shame and regret and hopelessness?”

Appius sneered, grabbed Eric by the wrist and they were in a small hospital waiting room that tried as hard to be a living room as a sterile hospital waiting room could; there were pink walls, two vinyl couches, a small decorated Christmas tree on a table in the corner, an Anne Geddes print of babies dressed as flowers on the wall, and a TV bolted to the ceiling, playing Miracle on 34th Street. The volume was muted. Hoyt Fortenberry and his wife, Holly, sat on one of the couches. Sookie sat on the other. They were talking animatedly with each other. 

This was Eric’s first time seeing Sookie since she had been turned, and she was absolutely stunning. He had, of course, never seen her so pale, but she glowed with a light that was almost golden. Her hair was thicker, lighter, and more wavy. Her eyes sparked with life as she laughed with her friends. The joy and anticipation in the room was heady, a stark contrast to the desolation he had been expecting. 

Eric sat down next to Sookie. Ignoring his Maker, he leaned over, his nose nearly brushing the place where Sookie’s neck met her shoulder, and sniffed. Sookie, of course, was oblivious, as were her friends. She still smelled so sweet and wonderful, like sunshine and spun sugar. Like Sookie. But she also smelled like Pam. And, therefore, like him. And somewhat like the Maker before him. It was intoxicating.

Jason Stackhouse entered the waiting room. The talk and laughter stopped suddenly, and all eyes were on Sookie’s brother.

"It's a girl! I wanted to name her Christmas Snow, like Chrissy on Three's Comp'ny, because she was born on Christmas. But Michele says we’re gonna name her Noel instead."

Everyone laughed and got up to congratulate the new father. Hoyt slapped his shoulder and Holly gave him a quick hug before moving to let Sookie have a turn. Sookie grinned at her brother, picked him up and spun him around. 

“Jesus, Sook! Put me down! It’s embarrassing having a little sister that’s stronger than you,” Jason laughed.

Sookie put him down and gave him a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek, “You are going to be a wonderful daddy, Jason. Can we go and meet her now? I can’t believe I have a niece!” She was almost vibrating with excitement.

"I'm sorry, Sook, but Michele… I mean me an’ Michele… Well, we just ain't comfortable with you bein' around the baby just yet."

"Oh, Jason! I would never hurt…"

"I know. You've said it, but Michele… Well, it’s just that we aren't gonna take any chances.”

“But…”

Jason sighed. “Maybe… Maybe I’ll be able to change her mind down the road, Sook, but right now I gotta be on Michele’s side. I’m sorry.”

Sookie looked absolutely heartbroken.

“It’s OK, Jason. I understand. Can you send me pictures? At least?”

“Of course, Sook. Of course I will. An’ I’ll come and visit you and Pam sometimes.”

Sookie smiled a small, sad smile. “Sure, Jase. That’ll be great. You’d better go on in there and see to your ladies. Love you, Big Brother. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Sookie. Say hi to Pam for me.”

Jason left the waiting room before Sookie let the first bloody tear fall.

Eric flew at his Maker. "Why are you showing me this? Why do you give a fuck? This is all because of you and your fucking contract. You made this happen. Fucking answer me!”

Appius reached up and patted Eric’s cheek three times with his palm, a strange half smile on his face. He then pointed over Eric’s shoulder. When Eric turned to see what his Master had been pointing at, he was in a kitchen looking at his child. Pam sat at a table wearing a cardboard party hat and a huge smile. She was covering her eyes with her hands.

Sookie’s voice behind him called, “No peeking!”

Eric and Appius moved to either side of the doorway and turned to watch Sookie make her grand entrance, carrying what looked like a 1970’s red Jello mold with three lit number candles stuck in the top. One hundred ninety-nine.

"Tada!"

Pam opened her eyes and looked suitably horrified.

Sookie’s singing voice was as terribly charming as ever as she sang, “Happy Maker day to you! Happy Maker day to you! Happy Maker day Mistress Pamela! Happy Maker day to you!”

She set the wobbly dessert down on the table and gave Pam a huge, wet kiss on the cheek. She laughed as Pam wiped it off and rolled her eyes.

“I think this is the one, Pam! I FINALLY got the gelatin to set without any clots! Try it! Try it!” She was bouncing with excitement.

Pam picked up her fork and took a very tiny bite. She made a moue of distaste, but said, “Mmmmm. It’s… Something!”

Sookie threw her head back and laughed, "Oh, Pam. The look on your face!"

“Brat!”

Eric was so pleased that they seemed truly happy. And that they were still together after almost 200 years was wonderful. They had always had a great fondness for each other, he knew.

Sookie sat across from Pam and reached out to hold her hand. They smiled warmly at each other. Sookie sighed and looked down.

"You're going to command me to go to him, aren't you."

It was Pam’s turn to sigh.

"Yes. Sookie, I don't have a choice."

"I won't go."

Pam smiled wryly, "Unfortunately, you won't have a choice, either."

"I can't do it, Pam. I still love him. God help me, I do. But it's a sick love. What he did is just something I could never forgive. Ever. He murdered me, Pam. Even worse, he made my best friend do it. He knew how I felt, and he did it anyway. After he promised me he wouldn’t. I love him, but I hate him more."

"I'll try to reason with him, Sookie, but we both know how he is. He will never let you go. Especially not after waiting for you for 200 years."

Sookie smiled sadly. She got up and stood behind Pam and wrapped her arms around her friend’s neck. 

"I know. I love you so much, Pam. I know your hands are tied. And I'm so sorry. But I just can't."

Pam reached up and clasped Sookie's arm, a look of sad resolve on her face. "I know. When?"

"At dawn. I'm afraid to wait. At some point, it might occur to him to make you command me not to. And it just seemed fitting, you know? Right."

Eric started to shake his head in negation.

"You don't think I'd command you not to of my own volition? I love you, too, Sookie."

"I know you do. And that's why you won't."

"No. No, I won't."

“No,” Eric echoed.

"If he calls… If he calls on the phone, anyway… Don't answer, OK? And… Try not to be so sad. He might open the bond… And, it’s Christmas Eve!" She gave a half smile.

Pam nodded. They stayed there like that for a long time.

Finally, Pam took a deep shuddering breath she didn’t need and broke the silence. "Look at us, crying like a couple of little girls. And you've gotten bloody tears on my vintage Dior! It will never come out. Come on. It's past midnight. Let's open our presents." They held hands and walked out of the room together.

Eric stood in the kitchen, broken. Appius put his hand on Eric’s shoulder and squeezed. Eric spun around, throwing a punch that seemed to travel through his Master’s jaw without making any connection. Suddenly, they were standing in the cemetery in Bon Temps. Appius pointed across the way at Sookie sitting on the ground in front of her grandmother’s grave, now very old and faded.

“I hope I’ll see you again, Gran. I know you and Daddy, and Jason are in Heaven. I know Claudine is in The Summerlands. I don’t know where I’ll go, if I’ll go anywhere. But I hope I’ll see you someday. At least I’m gonna get to see the sun again, one more time. It’ll be the mother of all suntans, huh?”

She smiled peacefully. 

The sky started to lighten along the horizon with a line of dark crimson.

“Please don’t be ashamed of me, Gran. I know it’s a sin, but I’ve committed a lot of those in my time. And I never wanted to live forever. I hope you understand.” She took a deep breath. Sookie turned her head North, toward Oklahoma. And also toward Eric. She seemed to look directly in his eyes when she whispered, “And I hope Eric does, too. Someday.”

The sun broke over the horizon. Sookie’s smile widened as she burst into flames. Eric screamed.

He was still screaming when he died again in his bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Eric lay just beyond consciousness, his brain not quite yet ready to face reality. He wasn't spread out on the huge bed in his sleeping chamber; he was wedged into a very small and cramped space. Somehow, the tight fit made him feel safe and secure, like an injured rabbit in its warren. He could hear the conversation between Sookie and the witch playing in his head, perfectly audible, but sounding muffled and far away. He willed his mind to stay at rest, to not understand the words.

Then came the knock at the door. He felt the wood under him faintly vibrate with each rap.

"I gotta go, Amelia. Someone's here. A vampire. Probably Bill, coming to wish me a Merry Christmas."

"Night, Sookie. I'll give you a call in a few days to check in. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Ames. Bye."

He felt the vibration of each step across to the front door, felt the squeal of the hinge that needed oiling run along his spine as Sookie opened the door. 

The voice was louder now. Closer. "Pam! I'm so happy to see you! Come in, and Merry Christmas. Can I get you something to drink?"

His mind was fully aware now, but Eric was unable to speak. He couldn't move. 

"Sookie, I am so sorry to bother you on Christmas Eve. I really really am. I have been trying so very hard to come up with what to say on the way over, and I just couldn't. I even drove under the speed limit the whole way here. I just… I just hope that someday you'll be able to forgive me."

Suddenly the paralysis broke, and Eric exploded through the floor of Sookie’s guest room closet and was out the door and into the hall. His roar of stop halted Pam in her tracks. Sookie had already turned to run from Pam, and she bounced off of Eric’s chest. Eric wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling.

“Eric? What the fuck?” Pam was incredulous. Was this some kind of test? It was barely an hour ago that Eric had called her, allegedly from Oklahoma, and ordered her to turn Sookie. She knew that he had been miserable, struggling, unable to think clearly, but this was just beyond the pale. Had he risked all of their lives as some kind of twisted revenge against Sookie? To prove Pam’s loyalty? 

Sookie stood motionless in Eric’s arms for a moment, stunned, before realizing that she had escaped the frying pan, but was almost certainly in the fire. Part of her wanted to melt into the familiar embrace, but the primal part of her brain, the one fully in charge of her body right now, was dumping adrenaline and trying to make the snap decision between fight and flight. Suddenly, Eric’s arms were full of feral hellcat. He tightened his grip.

“I swear to the gods, Sookie, that life would be a fuck of a lot easier if I could just glamour you. I will not hurt you, and neither will Pam. I promise.”

“Your promises aren’t good for a hell of a lot right now, Eric, “ she snapped back.

“Pam, please go out and let Karin know that everything is fine.”

Sookie immediately stopped struggling, and in a small voice said, “Pam, please don’t leave me.”

She was fucking terrified of him. And for good reason. Completely dejected, he let her go.

“Come Pam. We must go back to Fangtasia. I will contact Freyda, admit what I’ve done, and arrange transport back to the palace. Sookie… I am so sorry. Nobody will harm you. I promise I will not ever bother you again.”

The Vampires headed to the front door. Eric left the house, and then Pam followed. At least she could get answers on the drive back.

“Wait!”

They both paused on the front porch. Sookie stood well inside the doorway, her arms crossed tight over her chest.

“Eric, how did you get into my house? I never did reinvite you. Pam or Karin, either, until a minute ago”

He didn’t turn back around. “That’s a very long story, Sookie. But you should probably rescind it again. Just in case.”

“I think I deserve some answers. Afterall, you just destroyed my spare room closet and nearly had Pam… what? Turn me against my will?”

“Yes.”

“And now you’re just going to leave? Forever?”

He lowered his head and walked toward Pam’s minivan.

“Pam? Please tell me what’s going on.”

Pam steeled her shoulders. “You know what? Eric, Sookie is right. We both deserve some goddamn answers.”

“Pamela…”

“Yes, Eric, you could command me, but apparently those aren’t working out so well for you tonight. So maybe you should put on your big Vampire pants and spill.”

How in the hell was he supposed to explain this? ‘Hey, Sookie, I met your dead grandmother tonight! Lovely lady. She told me all about how miserable your childhood was!’

“It was nothing. I made a mistake and then I changed my mind in time.”

“Nothing? A mistake? Pam showed up here to kill me! After you ordered her to! And apparently while you were hiding in my fucking cubby. Which one of those was nothing, Eric? And which one was the mistake?"

He opened the passenger door and started to get in.

Sookie was so angry that her fear was nearly forgotten. The dial was now firmly tuned to fight over flight. And fighting with Eric Northman was old hat. She narrowed her eyes and smirked, “You always used to accuse me of running away. Go on then, coward. Tuck tail and run back to your queen and leave me the fuck alone."

Eric was back on the porch in an instant. “Never. Ever. Say that that cunt is mine ever again.”

Sookie stepped back, her eyes wide. “I thought you were happy.”

Eric barked a laugh.

“Pam said that you were settling in. That you were enjoying your new role. That you only added my protection to the contract to prove to her how loyal you are, and your devotion to her. That you didn’t really care much for me at all.”

“Pam lied.”

Sookie looked to Pam, “Pam? Why?”

Eric answered, “Because I told her to. I told her it was to help you move on. But, if I'm honest, I wanted to hurt you."

“Eric? Why are you here?”

“I was so lonely. So angry with Freyda, with you, with circumstances. I missed you so much. I… I lost my mind. I called Pam and commanded her to turn you. I know it was not your fault, but I blamed you. I used it as an excuse for why I had the right. But I did not.

I don’t know how I can explain without sounding completely insane, but I… I was shown the error of my ways tonight. I was given a chance to set things right, and I did. I rose in your hidey hole, by magic, in time to intervene. I did not sneak into your home. I didn’t even know I was here until I burst through the floor. I wish that I could have saved you from my presence completely, but I could not. Again, I am sorry.

“Please, Eric. I don’t understand.”

Eric walked over to the porch swing and sat, his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair.

“I was visited by three ghosts. They showed me glimpses of your childhood, your conversation tonight with Amelia, your turning, your life as a vampire. I thought, at first, that you were happy.” He smiled sadly. “You were a magnificent vampire, and you had forgiven Pam and were living a happy life with her. And then, months before I was to be set free, you chose to meet the sun rather than come to me. 

And I don't blame you. I can't. What I did was far worse than what Ocella did to me. His contract released me after 100 years."

"So now you're, what? Just going back to Oklahoma?"

"I have no other choice."

"Will you be punished?"

"Oh, yes. Most enthusiastically, I'm sure."

"She hurts you? Forces you to have sex with her?"

He closed his eyes. "Yes, Sookie."

“She… She owns you.”

The thing she was most terrified of having happen to her. Sookie walked up to the swing and stood in front of Eric. She reached a hand out to touch his face, hesitated, and then stepped between his legs and wrapped her arms around his head. 

“And you’re absolutely sure that there are no loopholes? That there’s no way out of the contract?”

“No. Only if Freyda or my Maker were to nullify the contract, or if the terms were broken.”

“Terms?”

“You were not to be harmed by Freyda’s or DeCastro’s Vampires.”

"So, then, why didn't that happen when Pam turned me in your dream or whatever?"

He looked up. "Well… I didn't even think of that. But I ordered it done, Sookie. I would have had to tell of my involvement, and keep the contract intact. Felipe and Freyda would have killed us all. I would never get my cake and be able to eat it, too."

Sookie's forehead crinkled in thought.   
"You know, Felipe wouldn't kill us if it was the only way to save the dying telepath who agreed to work for him again, but only if she could be based in Shreveport and her former husband was released and appointed as her personal manager and bodyguard.”

"But that isn't what happened."

She took a deep breath and looked Eric in the eyes. "But what if it did?"

"Sookie, no."

"You'd be stuck with me some of the time, Eric, but you'd be home and free."

"Sookie, this is absolute madness."

"You said I seemed happy with Pam."

"I just watched you burn as you met the sun."

"Pam? Would you? Would you be my maker?" 

"Pam, no."

"It would be my privilege, Sookie."

"Sookie, you can't do this."

Sookie put her hands on either side of his face. "Eric, I am very angry with you and you drive me crazier than a bag full of possums, and I hate your fucking guts right now, but I love you and I can't let you leave to be a damn sex slave for 199 years. What kind of woman would I be if I just went on with my life knowing that?"

He'd made love to her on this swing. He'd also fucked her senseless here. And now she had held him in her hands and told him she loved him. She was offering him freedom, but also the thing he wanted more than freedom, more than anything - an eternity of her. And he was not worthy.

"Sookie, I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me. 

Pamela, as your maker, I command you to never turn Sookie Stackhouse, or have anyone else turn her in your stead.”

Niall Brigant popped onto the front lawn.

"Will this fucking night never end?!?"


	6. Chapter 6

Sookie was not at all thrilled to see Niall, of all people, show up on her lawn in the middle of this shit show, but her Gran had raised her to be a proper Southern hostess. Good manners are always welcome, and Sookie shoved her annoyance aside, put on what was almost certainly a crazy Sookie smile, and resolved to get through this mess with poise, dignity, and hopefully a little luck. 

"Merry Christmas, Niall. It's nice to see family on Christmas Eve. Can I offer you a seat on the porch, and some sweet tea and Christmas cookies?"

She wasn't sure she wanted to invite Niall inside. She was sure, though, that she didn't want both Niall and Eric inside together, and she wasn’t yet ready for Eric to leave. They definitely had more talking to do. Eric and Niall would probably fight, and she'd get hurt, or something would get broken, or someone would get killed. Again. 

"No, Great Granddaughter, I just came to talk with you and your vampire. I will speak my piece and be on my way."

He took a deep breath.

"I was the one who brokered the deal between Appius Levius Ocella and Freyda of Oklahoma…"

"Great Grandfather!"

"Hush, child. I know very well what harm I have caused. Please, let me tell the story.

I brokered the deal, Sookie, to free you from Eric. You had broken the bond, and I was sure that you would easily move on. I thought I knew what was best for you. I try to do right by you, Child, but it always seems to go wrong."

Eric growled low in his chest. "While she was in pain, trying to overcome torture, you took me away from her! She needed me!"

Niall lowered his head. "I know I made a terrible mistake. I was able to pretend, at first, that everything was fine. Sookie's relationship with the shifter wasn't working out, but that was all for the best. But her happiness continued to wane. And when you had her turned, I knew, at heart, I was to blame."

Niall sighed.

"I had a spell that could turn back time and save her life. Although my actions started the dominoes to fall, my hand was not the one that killed Sookie. Pam, also, was only the tool. As the one who ordered it done, who wielded the tool, you are the only one who could right the wrong.

I could not lie to you or deceive you or lead you. I could only show you, and hope that you made the right decision. Unfortunately, this kind of magic is difficult to use on vampires, and I needed help from your Maker to complete the spell. He was most unwilling to help out of the goodness of his heart."

Eric snorted. "I can imagine that he was."

"Eric, when you had Sookie turned, I tried to make a wager with your maker's ghost. I bet him that if I showed you some of Sookie's life, your heart would soften to her and you would change your mind. Appius would, of course, agree to participate, and you would have your chance to right the wrongs that you… that WE caused.

He knows that you are an honourable man at heart who had a weak moment in your grief and anger, and unfortunately wasn't willing to take that bet."

Eric scowled at being called weak. But he knew it was true. He had been weak.

Sookie broke in, "But Appius is dead. How is this even possible?"

"The contract was spelled with blood and magic. I used the blood tie to summon his ghost. It’s also how I summoned Claudine’s ghost, and Adele’s, through my connection with her and Fintan’s children and grandchildren. They were to be Eric’s guides.”

"Gran?" She turned to Eric, her eyes bright. "You met Gran?"

Eric smiled at her “Yes. She was my Ghost of Christmas Past. She showed me Christmases when you were a little girl.”

His eyes hardened as he looked at Niall. “So, you sent the ghosts, Fairy."

“Yes, Eric. I needed you to choose to save Sookie on your own. I also thought you deserved to know, and that Sookie deserved to be understood. And I hoped that a little perspective would ease things between you, should it come to that."

But I couldn't get close enough to you to cast the spell. Time was of the essence, of course. And since your maker refused to help me, and then refused to take my wager, I had to up the ante.

Double or nothing. Not only would you intervene before Sookie was made Vampire, she would offer to be turned anyway, and you would refuse.”

Eric was incredulous. Niall must have been crazy to make that bet. “Double or nothing? What if she hadn’t offered?”

“Time would rewind again. You would not be able to intervene. You would wake again under Sookie's closet floor, but you would be invisible, an observer as you were with the ghosts. Pam would turn Sookie, and you would have to watch and be unable to save her. You would retain your memories of tonight, but you would be compelled to not break your maker's command, and Sookie would again choose to meet the sun rather than join you after your contract expired.”

“And if I accepted her offer to be turned?”

“Then Pam would turn Sookie. DeCastro would accept the terms, sever the contract, and welcome you back to Louisiana. And then he would have you and Pam killed. Sookie would be his for centuries.”

“You idiot! I nearly gave in to my desires."

"But you didn't, Vampire. I had faith in you and my great granddaughter. And I was right to. I won.” Niall grinned smugly.

"And what were the stakes for my Maker? What did you win?"

"You intervened in time. Sookie lives and remains free and alive. And, because it was double or nothing..."

Niall reached into the inside pocket of his coat and removed a sheaf of papers folded into thirds. He handed it to Eric. "Your contract with Oklahoma is void. Nullified by your maker. Notarized by a demon lawyer. Unimpeachable. You are free."

Eric was completely taken aback. Could it possibly be true? He narrowed his eyes. "What's in it for you, Fairy?"

Niall sighed, "I deserve that. But truly all I want is happiness for my kin. And your freedom will make her happy. Plus, I bet on you being an honourable man, and I was right. You deserve your freedom. I was wrong to arrange the contract, and I was pleased to make it right."

Sookie stood ramrod straight, her jaw clenched tight. "What was in it for Appius?"

Niall shook his head. "Honestly? I don't know."

"I do," Eric said, "Fucking with me for over 1000 years wasn't long enough. A chance to control me and make me miserable from beyond the grave would have been too much to pass up."

Sookie was obviously still very angry, "Great Grandfather, I would like to thank you for your help tonight. I am very thankful that Eric is free and I'm still alive. But I would appreciate it if you would please stay the hell out of my business from now on." She clenched her teeth tighter and crossed her arms across her chest again. "And, I think, out of my life. For now, at least." Fuck good manners.

Niall could hardly blame Sookie. After all, he had brought her nothing but pain. "I swear, I will leave the portals closed this time. Goodbye, Great Granddaughter. I do love you. And Merry Christmas."

Sookie huffed, and then muttered a goodbye.

Niall nodded at Eric and Pam and walked to the woods. He nodded at Karin, who was standing at the treeline, watching and listening. He disappeared into the forest. 

Pam took this as her cue to leave. "Well, guys and gals, it was a neato party, and I had a swell time, but I think it's time for me to hit the road." She was hoping to slip away quickly so Eric and Sookie could talk.

Sookie turned her gaze to Eric. She was obviously still spoiling for a fight. "So, what now?"

"I will contact Desmond Cataliades and give him the contract so I can cut ties with Oklahoma as soon as possible. In the interim, I will keep my promise of protection. You don't need to worry. You will be safe"

He left the porch, opened Pam's passenger door and climbed in.

All of the fight left Sookie. The night just couldn't end like this. She scrubbed her face with her hands and muttered, "God save me from high handed vampires."

She took a deep breath, puffed out her cheeks, and blew it out slowly. Then she met his eye through the windshield and asked, "Can we try just talking for once? Please?"

He nodded and got out of the van, trying to ignore the bloom of hope in his stomach. Sookie walked over to Pam, gave her a hug, and kissed her on the cheek. She slid her hands down Pam's arms and squeezed both of her hands. "Merry Christmas, Pam. And thank you." 

"Merry Christmas, Sookie. And anytime you need someone to drain you, for real this time, I'm your girl."

Eric growled, not sure whether or not she was joking.

Sookie laughed, "I'll keep that in mind, Pam." She swatted Eric's arm, "And you hush."

Sookie waved to Karin, who nodded and stepped back into the cover of the woods. 

Pam gave Eric a significant look and mouthed, "And don't fuck it up." She always made him watch Drag Race with her, and now he would be home for the new season. Oh well. It would still be worth it. 

Pam got into her minivan and left before Eric could change his mind. 

Sookie looked nervous. "I'm kinda curious if you can come in as you are without an invitation."

He smiled, "You haven't rescinded Pam's invitation."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I guess you should come on in anyhow."

He followed her to the living room. She made the mistake of sitting on the couch, so he joined her.

Everything was just so awkward. He decided to go back to basics, and tried on a leer. "So, you fantasized about me when you were with Sam, eh?"

She frowned and squirmed in embarrassment. A swing and a miss. "I'm sorry, Sookie. That was…"

She cut him off. "No, that was classic Eric." She rolled her eyes and gave him a half grin. "I even missed that smarmy pervert."

He smiled back at her. They both laughed, the tension at least partly broken. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "This is nice."

She looked down at her hands. "No, Eric, this is absolutely terrifying. A couple of hours ago, I was miserable and wishing for all of the world that I had you back. And now you're here, and, after months of just living my normal, boring life, I'm in danger again. It makes me doubt my sanity."

"What do you want, Sookie?"

She sighed. "I want my cake and to eat it, too. I want a nice, safe, normal life with you. But we all know that isn't possible."

"I'm sorry. I wish things could be different.

Sookie smiled and caught his eyes, "Maybe let's not do any wishing or anything like that for a good long while." 

He smiled back. 

"Probably a good idea."

She took a big breath, steeling herself for his answer. "What do you want, Eric?"

His answer was ready. He made sure to catch her eyes before he said it. "My heart's desire."

She looked back down. "I… I don't think I'm… I'm glad you're free, but… maybe someday…"

"You aren't ready." He sighed. "Someday, Sookie. Someday, we will both be ready. And I will be waiting."

And, when he stood up to go, he really believed it. For the first time. 

And when she hugged him goodbye, and didn't want to let him go, he knew it would be alright. Someday. He had all the time in the world. Maybe forever.


	7. Chapter 7

Eric rose in the sleeping chamber in his home in Shreveport. It was so good to be home! It was just before sunset on Christmas night. He even checked the date on his cell phone to be sure. He ignored the missed calls from Oklahoma. He would never have to deal with that cunt again. That’s what he paid his lawyer for.

He stretched happily and sighed. He tested his senses, checking for danger, just in case. He didn’t want any more surprises like yesterday.

A heartbeat. Faint from here. Maybe directly above him in the living room? He smiled. Ghosts didn’t have heartbeats. 

When the sun had set, he threw on a pair of jeans and crept upstairs.

Sookie leaned against the door casing, her ankles crossed, trying so hard to look nonchalant. 

He crossed his arms and pretended to look stern. "How did you get in here?"

She smiled slyly, "Your child was a bad girl. She left me a key and the alarm codes in my kitchen. I don't even know when she did it. I think she wanted me to sneak in and have my way with you."

He ran his hand through his hair and then stuck his hands in his pockets. "Well, it's too bad she was wrong, then."

God, he was beautiful. He looked almost childlike with the cheeky grin and his hands crammed in his pockets and his hair all in a mess around his face. She wanted to smooth it down. To sink her fingers in and mess it up more. She wanted to kiss him senseless, to take care of him, to be taken care of by him. To love him. To be loved. Even, she thought, to own him. And to be owned by him. She wanted everything. It was scary as hell, but she was ready. No net, ladies and gentlemen. She took a steadying breath and looked him dead in the eyes.

"So, you're currently unaffiliated?"

"Pardon me?"

"Not a Royal Consort in Oklahoma? Not a Sheriff in Louisiana? Not the King of Timbuktu?"

"No, Fatima is the Queen of Mali…"

"No more politics, Eric?"

"No. For now, no more politics."

"For now?"

"Unless I have to make a move for your protection, I am currently no more than a Vampire resident of Area Five, and I intend to stay that way indefinitely."

She smiled happily, "No more drama and intrigue?"

He smiled back. "I'm counting on it."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She was trembling. She walked toward him and took his hand.

"Could you stay with me always?"

His Adams apple bobbed, but then he grinned wickedly, "We could know each other's bodies in every way, night after night."

She whispered, "Could you love me?"

He nodded.

The right side of her mouth curved up into a grin. She bit her lip. He wanted to bite it, too.

Eric continued, "I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you. "

She tucked her chin down and looked up at him, her eyes wide. Puppy dog eyes. "Sounds like a marriage." 

"Yes. If you'll have me." 

"Hey, that's not what comes next!"

He wrapped her in his arms and smiled into her hair, breathing deep. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. "Always, Eric. Always."

Her lips finally met his, but he pulled away after only a moment. He needed to know. 

"Why? After what I almost did."

"No, you actually did it, but then you were just able to take it back in time."

"Sookie…"

"Seriously, if Niall hadn't intervened, I'd be dead right now, and you'd be a huge a-hole stuck in Oklahoma."

He snorted and shook his head. 

"Because I love you, Eric. You're it for me. And, apparently, I still will in 200 years, even if you kill me."

He smiled wryly. "You hated me more, then."

"That's because you drive me nuts."

Gods, he loved her. "I know." He kissed the top of her head.

All of a sudden, she looked ferocious. He thought it was adorable.

"I want a partnership."

"Of course."

"And none of that mine bullshit."

He laughed out loud. "Now, you have to give me SOMETHING to negotiate with, Lover."

She squinted and frowned, but her eyes twinkled. 

"Equal playing field, me and you."

"Absolutely. You will be mine," he kissed one eyelid, "and I will be yours." He kissed the other.

She rolled her eyes. "And I want to pull my own weight."

"Yes, dear."

"Did you just yes dear me, Eric? Seriously? You are going to get it."

"Promises, promises."

She was laughing when she kissed him that time. 

He deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue with his. She moaned into his mouth and dug her fingers into his hair. He had almost forgotten all of the little sounds she made while making love. 

He picked her up, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, her hot centre notched against his hard cock. He carried her back down to his bed. 

He laid her down on the middle of the mattress and stretched out over her, his weight on one elbow. She reached up and swept the hair out of his eyes. She cupped his face in her hands and looked at him hard, a crease between her eyes. "I love you." She was so serious she sounded cross.

He smiled warmly back. "I know."

The crease got deeper and he laughed. "I love you, too, Sookie." He lightly rubbed his nose against hers, and then kissed her hard. He mouthed her neck and licked up the pulse point under her right ear. He scratched his fangs across her collar bone and sucked hard on the pulse point under her left ear. She was panting. Fully clothed, two minutes, and she was already putty in his hands. He still had it. 

"Please, Eric. Love me. Be sweet."

Who else would demand sweetness from a thousand year old vampire?

Slowly, he unwrapped her. The greatest Christmas gift of all. And when she lay warm and naked under him, he knew he could never let her go again. He quickly shed his jeans.

He worshipped her perfect breasts with his hands and his mouth. She was always so responsive. He kissed his way down past her belly button to between her thighs. 

Sookie was running closer to a size 10 than an 8 right then, owing to the holiday and some comfort carbs, and Eric loved every extra ounce. She was so soft and warm and curvy and delicious. Her mouth tasted amazing, her skin delightful, but the third course, the honey between her thighs, was indescribable. And he had craved it for months. His first taste was a long, slow swipe of the tongue. He inhaled a deep breath through his nose, savoring the smell. Spun sugar, sunshine, and her desire for him. Heaven. He kissed her sex, a benediction, and then started circling her clit with his tongue.

He could play her body like a harp. He stretched her with his fingers as he sucked lightly on her clit. He stroked her g spot while he suckled and pinched her nipples. He fucked her with his tongue while rubbing circles with his thumb.

Finally, he flicked the tip of his tongue back and forth at vampire speed over her button while he fucked her hard and deep and slow with his fingers, and she fell apart around him. 

His cock was so hard, and she licked her lips as she watched him stroke himself, her eyes hooded. 

"I need you."

She sat up and kissed him, pulling him down on top of her. "I want to be able to touch you. To kiss you."

She reached down and stroked him and then lined him up with her centre. She was hot and wet and perfect, and as he sheathed himself in her, he was finally home and free. He laid there and basked in the feeling. 

She grabbed his ass and rolled her hips and he got the hint and started to move, slowly stroking all the way out and all the way in. An exquisitely slow pace. 

Sookie wrapped her legs around his waist. He was so big, and was hitting her just right on every stroke. It felt incredible. She kissed his mouth, licked and sucked on his chin, rubbed her smooth cheek against his rough and scratchy one. When the tension began to coil in her belly, she tilted her head back and gasped his name, baring her long neck to him. He couldn't resist. He licked it once lightly, and then hard and rough before sinking his fangs in. His hips sped up just a bit. Course number four was exquisite. 

Sookie came hard, and as her pussy clamped down on him, she bit his shoulder and sucked. He came so hard he saw spots. Perfect. 

Perfect.

When they were both spent, Sookie pushed him onto his back and arranged herself up on one elbow with her chin in her hand, looking down at him. Their legs were tangled together. He probed the new weak blood tie. Contentment, resolve, and love. So much love. It too felt like home. He didn't think he'd ever been happier.

"I promise I won't run away." She was very serious.

"Me too."

"I promise to work on communication."

He smiled. "Me, too."

"Will you bond with me? "

His eyebrows went up. "Are you sure?"

"Freyda and Felipe are gonna be pissed, whether it was above board or not. I want to be safe. You make me safe."

He frowned, but leaned up to catch her lips in a quick kiss. "I will keep you safe, Sookie. With or without a bond."

She played with his hair. She sighed and said, "I never thought I would say this, but it's also because I miss you. I miss feeling you with me."

He kissed her nose. "I missed you, too." He tried not to show how moved he was, but then resolved to let her in. Masks were a mistake with her. She had always needed reassurance. He was an old dog, but he could try learning some new tricks. He kissed her hard, but his eyes were soft and full of love. "You honour me, Sookie."

"I don't know if I'll ever want to be turned."

He smiled and turned her onto her side so he could be the big spoon. He entered her slowly and just held her there, her back to his front, just needing to be as close as he could be. He wrapped his arms around her tight and cupped her breast in his hand. He kissed behind her ear and sighed in absolute contentment. "Ok."

"Ok?" She tried to get up on the elbow to look back at him.

"Sshhh." He cuddled her back into submission and sighed again. "I don't know is better than absolutely never. I have you in my arms. This is everything I need right now. This is best. We will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. For now, I am going to live in today."

"Oh. Well, good." She started rocking her hips against him, and moaned contentedly. "Mmmmmerry Christmas, Eric." 

"Merry Christmas, Sookie. I love you."

And all was right with the world. At least in this moment. And, who knows? Forever, for once, wasn't off the table. That was good enough for him.


End file.
